The Mummy A Musical
by Pandora the Muse
Summary: Ever wonder what the Mummy might be like set to music? Well...you're about to be shown the way! Working on the next scene after a loooooong hiatus.
1. Default Chapter

The Mummy

The Musical Mummy

Score By Pandora (The Muse)

Original Songs By Other People

(The lyrics have been altered for use in this musical)

The Mummy and all characters belong to Universal and not myself

Act I

Opening Scene

[A dark night in the desert in Egypt just outside Hamunaptra]

[Enter Ardeth Bey on horseback]

[Song originally "Arabian Nights" from Disney's Aladdin]

Ardeth Bey: (singing) Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place, where the med-jai and horses roam, 

Where it's flat and immense and those priests are a pest, it's insufferable, but hey, it's home

[Stands center stage]

When the thieves from the east and the yanks from the west and that girl from Cairo come at night, 

Grab your scimitar and ride, 

[Mounts horse] 

On a horsey or you die, on another Egyptian night!! 

[Horse rears]

Egyptian nights, like Egyptian days, more often than not, are filled with rot and I get enraged!!

Egyptian nights, 'neath Egyptian moon, a fool off his guard, could die and die quick, out here in the dunes

[Slowly exits stage right]

[Curtain falls]

Scene II

[Curtain rises]

[Night fall in Thebes]

[Ardeth Bey enters stage left on foot]

Ardeth Bey: Welcome to Thebes, City of the Living, crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the I,

Home of Imhotep, [Imhotep enters stage left, stands to far right] Pharaoh's high priest, Keeper of the Dead, 

Birthplace of Anck-su-namun, [Enter Anck-su-namun stage left, stand at left] Pharaoh's mistress, no other man was allowed to touch her.

[Enter priests, stand in background]

[Original Song "Barbie Girl" By Aqua]

Anck-su-namun:[Walking towards Imhotep] 

I'm the pharaoh's girl, in the pharaoh's world

I've been painted, I'm so tainted

I'm completely bare and undressed everywhere

Prostitution, I need retribution

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun: 

I'm the pharaoh's girl, in the pharaoh's world

I've been painted, I'm so tainted

I'm completely bare and undressed everywhere

Prostitution, I need retribution

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun: I'm a bronzed, fighter girl, in a dynasty world

Feel me up, go all night, I'm your princess

Imhotep: You're my love, from above, but I can't get enough

Kiss me here, touch me there, let's be naughty

Anck-su-namun: You can touch, you can play, if you say I'm always yours

I'm the pharaoh's girl, in the pharaoh's world

I've been painted, I'm so tainted

I'm completely bare and undressed everywhere

Prostitution, I need retribution

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Priests: Ah ah ah yeah!!

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Priests: Ooh oh Ooh oh

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Priests: Ah ah ah yeah!!

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Priests: Ooh oh Ooh oh

Anck-su-namun: Make me hot, don't get caught, do whatever you please

I can act like a queen, I can beg on my knees

Imhotep: Come right in, mistress sin, let us do it again

Hit the floor, go for more, let's be dirty

Anck-su-namun: You can touch, you can play, if you say I'm always yours

You can touch, you can play, if you say I'm always yours

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Priests: Ah ah ah yeah!!

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Priests: Ooh oh Ooh oh

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Priests: Ah ah ah yeah!!

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Priests: Ooh oh Ooh oh

Anck-su-namun: I'm the pharaoh's girl, in the pharaoh's world

I've been painted, I'm so tainted

I'm completely bare and undressed everywhere

Prostitution, I need retribution

I'm the pharaoh's girl, in the pharaoh's world

I've been painted, I'm so tainted

I'm completely bare and undressed everywhere

Prostitution, I need retribution

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Preists: Ah ah ah yeah!!

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Preists: Ooh oh Ooh oh

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Preists: Ah ah ah yeah!!

Imhotep & Ardeth Bey: Come on mistress, do your business

Anck-su-namun & Preists: Ooh oh Ooh oh

Anck-su-namun: I love you. [Waves palm slowly in front of Imhotep's face]

[They kiss]

[Imhotep inadvertently rubs off paint on her arm]

[Enter Seti, stage left]

[Priests try to bock his path, he shouts at them]

[Anck-su-namun & Imhotep look in his direction]

[Imhotep goes out of view to the right]

[Anck-su-namun fixes her hair and assumes a casual stance]

[Seti enters and looks at Anck-su-namun carefully]

[Suddenly points to her arm and asks who has touched her]

[Anck-su-namun does not answer, then focuses on Imhotep, who has come up behind Seti]

[Seti turns, is stunned]

[Imhotep grabs Seti's sword]

[Seti is stunned]: Imhotep?! My priest?!

[Anck-su-namun produces a knife from her skirts (?!) and stabs Seti in the back.]

[Seti screams in agony]

[Imhotep stabs Set in the stomach]

[ They stab and stab…(you get the point)…until Seti is on the floor: dead]

[Enter Med-jai, stage left]

[Priests grab Imhotep and attempt to drag him away]

Imhotep: I won't leave you

Anck-su-namun: You must! Go!

Imhotep: Not without you!!

Anck-su-namun: You have to! You are the only one who can resurrect me!

[She waves her palm in front of his face as before]

[Priests drag him away as he yells and struggles]

[Med-jai come over to face Anck-su-namun]

[They look down, horrified, to see Seti on the floor…DEAD!!!]

Anck-su-namun: My body is no longer his temple! [Raises her knife to her stomach and plunges it into herself]

[Imhotep screams as his priests drag him off]

[Curtain closes]


	2. Act II

ActII

ActII

Opening Scene

Scene III

[Nightfall in the desert outside Hamunaptra]

[Curtain rises]

[Ardeth Bey enters stage right]

Ardeth Bey: To resurrect Anck-su-namun, Imhotep and his priests broke into her crypt and stole her body. They raced deep into the desert taking Anck-su-namun's corpse to Hamunaptra, city of the dead, ancient burial site for the sons of pharaohs and resting place for the wealth of Egypt…

[Imhotep and priests enter stage left carrying Anck-su-namun's body on a stretcher]

[Lights out]

[Backdrop changes to inside the building at Hamunaptra scene]

[Stone table commands attention at center stage]

[Priests place Anck-su-namun on table] 

For his love, Imhotep dared the gods' anger by going deep into the city, where he took the black book of the dead from its holy resting place. Anck-su-namun's soul had been sent to the dark underworld, her vital organs removed and placed in five sacred canopic jars.

[Shadow is used to represent soul that comes out of pool-rests on Anck-su-namun]

[Priests chanting]

Anck-su-namun's soul had come back from the dead

[Imhotep goes to stab her]

[Med-jai enter stage left-apprehend everyone]

But pharaoh's bodyguards had followed Imhotep and stopped them before the ritual could be completed.

[Soul disappears]

[Lights out]

[Scene changes-inside sar-net jer]

[Priests strapped to tables, Med-jai standing watch, executors of torture at work]

Imhotep's priests were condemned to be mummified alive [lots of yelling]

As for Imhotep, he was condemned to endure the Hom-dai, the worst of all ancient curses. One so horrible it had never before been bestowed.

[Original Song "The Call" By The Backstreet Boys]

Imhotep: Let me tell you the story 'bout the girl that changed my destiny  
Me and my priests went out just to end up in misery

Was about to bring her back when there they were standing in front of me

I said ny, I got to save my girl tonight, let me go!

But they said ny, hom-dai's waiting for you

And now I'm cursed and undead

[Med-jai grab him and drag him across stage]  
  


CHORUS  
Listen baby I'm sorry  
Just wanna tell you don't worry

I will be late, don't stay up and wait for me  
Pray again – I'm dying now…I don't want you to go

So you know, I'm going to a tomb nearby

Gotta go!  
  
So many years past, nothing's been won

I can't bring you back, what's done is done

Some of the med-jai found out that we've been making love

And it tears me up inside that you're not by my side

Just because you killed Seti and died  
  


CHORUS

(Listen baby I'm sorry)

(Interlude)

  
Let me tell you the story 'bout the girl that changed my destiny  
Me and my priests went out just to end up in misery

Was about to bring her back when there they were standing in front of me

I said ny, I got to save my girl tonight, let me go!  
  


CHORUS (x2)

Med-jai: Enough of this!!

[Walks over to Imhotep, knife in hand]

Imhotep: But there are five more verses

[Med-jai moves in front of Imhotep, blocking his view and cuts his tongue off]

[Screams]

[Wrapping him up]

[Throw scarabs on him, screaming, put on lid]

[Open key, turn to left, close second lid, and lock it]

[Lights out]

[Scene change – Desert outside Hamunaptra]

[Light on]

[Ardeth Bey standing center stage]

Ardeth Bey: He was to remain sealed inside his sarcophagus, the undead for all of eternity. The med-jai would never allow him to be released for he would arise a walking disease, a plague upon mankind, an unholy flesh eater with the strength of ages, power over the sands and the glory of invincibility.For 3,000 years men and armies fought over this land never knowing what evil lay beneath it and for 3,000 years we the med-jai the descendents of pharaoh's sacred bodyguards kept watch.

[Lights out]


	3. Act III

Sorry I've taken so long to add more to this. I hope you enjoy what I have so far. Thanks. Don't forget to review. 

The Musical Mummy

Act III

Scene I

[The desert, Ruins of Hamunaptra]

[Curtain rises]

[Battlefield: Legionnaires and Arabs fighting]

[Bodies strewn across floor, sound of gunfire]

[Rick O'Connell fires his rifle, stage left]

[Beni, cowers next to him]

Beni: War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

Rick: Shut up!

Beni:[Cowers behind wall] I am so sorry. I am just a little nervous.

[Beni suddenly stands and removes his hat]

[I Will Survive Written By: Fekaris/Perren]

Beni: At first I was afraid I was petrified,

Kept thinking how I was ever going to preserve my hide

And then I spent so many times thinking how we didn't get along

But you are strong and you know to get along

And so we're here stuck in this place

I look around and find you here with that rifle pointed at my face

I should have found a new profession

I should have gotten my degree

If I'd have known for just one second that you'd always be threatening me

So now I'll go right towards the door

Don't turn around now

Cuz you're not my buddy anymore

Weren't you the one who threw me and said good bye

Think I'll help you, think I'll stay here and die

[Runs towards the door]

Oh no not I

I will survive 

Oh as long as I know how to hide I know I'll stay alive

I got all my life to live

I don't know how long it is

I'll survive, I will survive

Hey Hey

[Stands in front of door]

Rick: [Still shooting]It took all the strength I had not to fall apart

Kept trying hard to shoot these guys and do my part

And now I'm running out of bullets and worrying for myself

I might die, but I will hold my head up high

And he left me on this dune 

I'm not going to be happy when this war is through

And so he felt like bailing out

And just expect me to believe

That I'm going to save his skin and not beat him readily

[Runs towards the door]

[Beni sees him, runs inside and starts to close it]

So don't you dare close that door

You better open it or I'll beat your @$$ some more

Weren't you the one who said my strength was your ally 

Think I'll surrender. Think I'll lose this war and die.

[Banging on the door]

Oh no not I

I will survive

Oh as long as I know how to shoot I know I'll stay alive

I've got all my life to live

And I remember where you live

I'll survive

I will survive

Oh [Rick mouths an explicit. Do I need to tell you what it is?]

[Men firing at Rick, Rick runs to stage left, men give chase]

I will survive

[Rick closes eyes]

[Sand starts flying in time with the song, men run]

[Rick opens eyes, looks around]

Rick: I survived!

[Lights out]

[Curtain]

Scene II

[Cairo, Museum of Antiquities]

[Curtain rises]

[Library, Evelyn on ladder putting away books]

Evelyn: Tuthmosis? What are you doing here? T….T, T, T, T

[Evelyn reaches for the other shelf, ladder stands on end]

[Original song: Help By: Lennon/McCartney]

Evelyn: [Shrieks]

[softly] Help….

I need somebody

Help

Not just anybody

Help…

You know I need someone

HELP!

[Ladder sways]

Evelyn: When I was cleaning in the library today

I never needed anybody's help in anyway

But now it seems I'm wrong

And I'm not so self-assured

And I now I find I've changed my mind

Since I've screwed up even more

Help me if you can I'm falling down

And I'd really like to stay safe and sound

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me 

And now my life is flashing by in just so many ways

It seems that this could be the end of my days 

But every now and then I feel so insecure

But now I really need help from the curator 

Up here I find I need him like I've never done before

Help me if you can I'm falling down

And I'd really like to stay safe and sound

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me

When I was cleaning in the library today

I never needed anybody's help in anyway

But now it seems I'm wrong

And I'm not so self-assured

And I now I find I've changed my mind

Since I've screwed up even more

Help me if you can I'm falling down

And I'd really like to stay safe and sound

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please

Help me

Help me 

Help me

[She falls against bookshelf]

[Evelyn screams]

[Bookshelves crash]

[Evelyn stands up, looks around] : Oops

[Curator comes in, stage right]

Curator: [Disbelief] What—How c—I—H-How—

[Spots Evy]

Curator: [in outrage] Oh, look at this! Sons of pharaohs! 

Give me frogs! Flies! Locusts! Anything but you! 

Compared to you the other plagues were a joy!

Evelyn: I am so very sorry. It was an accident.

Curator: [still in outrage] My girl, when Rameses destroyed 

Syria **that was an accident. You…are a catastrophe! Look at my**

library! Why do I put up with you?

Evelyn: W-well, you put up with me because I can—read 

and write ancient Egyptian, I can decipher hieroglyphics and 

heiratic—and I am the only person within a thousand miles

that can properly code and catalog this library! That's why!

Curator: I put up with you because your mother and father 

were our finest patrons. That's why.

Allah rest their souls. Now, I don't care how you do it. I don't

 care how long it takes. Straighten up this meshiver!

[Exit curator stage right]

[Noise is heard]

[Evy goes through door at back]

[Backdrop/set turns (I love this trick) and reveals an exhibit]

[Evy grabs a torch and slowly walks further in]

Evelyn: Abdul? Mohammed? Bob?

[Another noise is heard, she jumps]

[Evy walks over to a sarcophagus]

[Mummy suddenly pops up]

[Evy screams and jumps]

[Laughter. Legs appear in air]

[Jonathan sits up in sarcophagus, laughing]

[Mummy is propped up next to him]

Evelyn: [Angrily] Have you no respect for the dead?

Jonathan: [Drunkenly] Of course I do, but sometimes…

I'd rather like to join them.

Evelyn: [Angrily again] Well I'd wish you'd do it sooner

rather than later before you ruin my career the way you've ruined yours

[slaps him] Now get out.

Jonathan [still drunk] My dear sweet baby sister…I'll have you know 

that my career is on a high note. [Gets out of sarcophagus]

Evelyn: High note, hah! Jonathan I'm really not in the mood for you right now.

[Sits on edge of statue]

I've just made a bit of a mess in the library and the Bembridge Scholars have

rejected my application form again. They say I haven't enough experience in the

field.

Jonathan: You'll always have me ol mum. [smiles] 

[Evy smiles]

Jonathan: Besides, I have just the thing to cheer you up!

[Song from Jaws]

[Jonathan begins to sing in a drunken stupor]

Show me the way to go home!

I'm tired and I want to go to bed. 

I had a little drink about an hour ago 

and it's gone right to my head. 

Wherever I may roam, by land or sea or foam. 

You can always hear me singin' this song, 

show me the way to go home!

[Adding sound effects]: Bome, bome, bome. 

Show me the way to go home. 

Bome bome bome. 

I'm tired and I want to go to bed. 

I had a little drink about an hour ago 

and it's gone right to my head. 

Wherever I may roam, by land or sea or foam. 

You can always hear me singin this --

[Evy interrupts]

Evelyn: Please, I'd prefer another useless trinket.

Jonathan: In that case…[pulls out key]

Evelyn: [Evy takes it, examines it]

Where did you get this?

Jonathan: [Nonchalantly] On a dig down in…Thebes.  

My whole life I've never found anything, Evy. Please, tell

me I've found something.

Evelyn: [Opens key] Jonathan…I think you've found something.

[Pulls out map]

[Curtain falls]

[End scene]


End file.
